"So," I asked my 5-year old. "What have you learned in kindergarten so far this year?"
"Well, actually, we learned nothing at all."
Okaaaaaaaaaay, then. Nice to know.
Supposedly, kindergarten is supposed to teach you all sorts of foundational things -- from early reading and arithmetic to sound morals. My son has a different idea about what he's learned. Aside from "nothing at all," these are ten things he's told me he's learned in kindergarten:
1. Dolphins can fight sharks.
2. You have to hide your bakugan during class, otherwise the teacher will take it away, even if you're just fixing it, not playing with it.
3. Aaron is Emily's boyfriend. [Both children are five.]
4. Ants are stronger than dinosaurs because dinosaurs went extinct, but ants didn't. Also, ants can bite humans and it hurts really bad.
5. Speaking of dinosaurs, if you have dino babies, you have to get shots from the doctor. ["Dino babies" = diabetes]
6. If you count by twos, numbers are higher.
7. "TV" is the best word to spell because it's just "T" and "V." Also, we should watch it. [It turns out that this was "not exactly" what the teacher said, and "TV" was not an official spelling word. "But I learned to spell it on my own, mommy!"]
8. Poison Ivy is a plant, and a tree is a plant, but you can climb a tree. It's a bad idea to climb Poison Ivy.
9. Don't tell anyone you pick your nose, or they might say, "Ew."
10. If you pick your nose ten times in a row, it will bleed. My son only knows this because his friend tried it.